even though nobody uses blogger anymore

I decided to post again for the first time in what seems like forever!

So I had a massive urge to stalk my former self last night, and I went back to have a look at my old Xanga/Myspace. My God, I was annoying as hell- it's a wonder how I even had friends back then haha.

Funny thing I realised that never seems to change- we never seem to appreciate the ones that really matter.

The ones we mean the most to are never the ones who mean the most to us, and vice versa, because people are stupid and they never learn.

So should we stop caring about those who care little for us, or is that selfish?

Anyway, today was ridiculously cold (13 degrees and constant rain) so I took the day off uni and spent the day at home with him. Ain't nothin' better than being inside all warm and cosy, watching tv and eating, when it's pelting outside :) Sure, I didn't study like I said I would, and I was supposed to spend the whole public holiday tomorrow studying too, only to take up another full day at work instead T_T But I'm fairly sure (not to sound too cocky) that I've worked consistently enough this semester to pass all my units in June...

"Pass". Oh man, I need to start aiming higher LOL gone are the days of 'high-expectations-asian-father' (I'm addicted to 9gag and memes in general)

Other than that, life seems good right now- I have a good boy, a good job (for now, anyway), and I've been coping pretty well at uni. It's not that I'm ecstatic with life, but I guess I don't have a lot to complain about, so for once I won't - I'm probably quite content, but I'm still hoping that the future holds something more for me :)

PS. I'll just this post with some more memes because of reasons.

^ reminds me of one of my lecturers LOL

change.

I didn't expect to ever come back to this blog after a 7 month hiatus, but here I am. :)

I feel like so much has happened since the year started and I don't know how to deal right now... It's scary to compare the girl I am today with the girl I was 4 months ago when I started university. I don't think I've become a better or worse person, but I definitely think I'm a lot more aware of the world now. Still, the road hasn't been easy, and I'm reluctant to say it, but I have some regrets.

I wish I had stayed more grounded instead of getting so caught up with events and going out. It's like a chain reaction and it all started with wanting- with needing, to forget how bad a particular situation made me feel.

"it used to be you that i like, but imma do what i like tonight...

...i just wanna have a good time, and keep you off my mind"

And the problem with going out at night just so you don't have to sit at home thinking, is that it only works for that time that you're out having fun. The moment you're back home, you're back at square one, and all you want to do is go out some more so you can avoid those thoughts all over again.

I remember when I first started uni, a friend told me to "make real friends, not popular friends" - now I dont even know if I've done that. I still find myself leaning on my high school friends- regarding them as my better friends when times are tough. And there's nothing wrong with that except that now, times have changed and they're no longer the people I see 5 days a week...

It's funny how sometimes you don't realise at the time, how wise those words are when they're said to you. And one day it just dawns on you that what you previously thought was just a bunch of empty words, are truly pearls of wisdom.

ONE MORE THING --
Another friend told me that if things weren't okay, that it was okay to just pretend they were. He said that one day, that pretending would become reality.

I think that day has finally come :)
 

but you... I wish I hadn't let you go so easily.. :( 

i miss you.

EPICLY LATE POST!

Eurghh my posts are always supersuper delayed .. they're like 2 milestones apart =__= so I'll just quickly mention some stuff and get on to more recent events :)

Boombox Concert --> went with Sophie to see some of the most awesome Asian Youtubers (Traphik, JReyez, JRA, Lil Crazed, Lydia Paek, Kevjumba, Maribelle Anes etc.) And we got a photos with Maribelle so that was pretty damn awesome! It feels a bit weird to really really admire and respect someone younger than me, but yes I do think she is amazing at what she does and I hope she makes it big :)

On the way from the concert to the afterparty, I told Soph that I'd make sure I do something new every day because I had recently watched an episode of Friends (the NYE episode) where Ross decides to do that as his New Years Resolution.

That day I did so many new things LOL it was the first time I had gone to a concert, I bought an apple from 7/11 for the first time ($1.20 .. man I could buy a whole kilo of apples from springvale for 99c LOL) and I also went clubbing for the first time. It was fun at the time, but in hindsight a houseparty probably would have been more fun.

I don't plan to club again til after I turn 18 anyway because it's too much stress/hassle trying to get in, and then the club isn't even as fun as it's hyped up to be LOL >__>

Ahh I cbs writing more right now, I'll catch up some other time :)

schoolies, uni, and other stuff :)

Woah this might turn into a superduper long post, so I'll probably have to split it. See how it goes :D

SCHOOLIES!

Rye was absolutely freaking amazing. I miss being there! Thanks so much to Soph and her parents for letting us run wild in their beach house and providing food hehe <3

The weather was less than desirable for a beach trip, but we had tonnes of fun all the same. Nights playing Truth or Dare (which turned into just Truth), "I Never", and just taking shots for the heck of it- these are times I won't forget.

So beautiful (photo stolen off Soph cos I didn't bring a camera)

Me and Viv

Me and Lisa (love the colours in this one)
 

Uh, drunken artwork :)

 Group pic just before we left

Love you guys <3

** Revisiting this old post because I never finished it, & an update is now well overdue **

Thinking back to schoolies makes me feel sad and sentimental :( Only time will tell how many of my high school friends I'll keep in touch with years from now..

Uni.. I don't feel much like talking about it now because preferences have been lodged/confirmed already. First-round offers won't come out for about a month and I'm taking full advantage of that month by not thinking about it at all, because I don't have to :)

The future both scares me and excites me. I'm so curious and excited for uni life and the time where I get to settle down and start a family. It's a journey where the possibilities inspire me, but the uncertainty of where life will take me is what scares me.

Sometimes the hardest thing is knowing when to take control and when to go with the flow.

When I was in Year 9 (about 14 years old) we canoed something like 70km down the Murray river on camp over 5 days, and one night we were urged to take some time out to ponder the following statement: "Life is like a river"

If life is like a river, do you trust where it will take you if you just let go? Or are you supposed to struggle and fight the natural flow? It's so tiring trying to fight it, and lately I've been wondering about all the things I would never discover if I were persistent in not going with the flow. You could say it's directionless, but then I would say you're narrowminded for only considering one fate for your life.

But it's a retaliation and it's only because sometimes I feel like you're right. They say it's okay to take your time in finding your direction, but I worry that I won't ever find mine. When I imagine my future, it's always with a family of my own- because I know that at the end of the day, that's going to be the most important thing to me. But what about everything else? What happens between now and then?

I wish life had a pause button because time keeps moving faster, and I'm not seeing any progress. 

BIRTHDAYS AND JAMIE FOXX BEING THE SEX.

HOLY COW! I haven't posted since the 23rd which is almost 2 weeks ago! Oh man, let me think about all the crazy fun stuff I've been up to lately..

Oh wow, I've really forgotten .. But I'll do my best :)

Went to Nat's 18th on the 26th (Friday) which was pretty fun cos I hadn't seen her and a few others for sooo long. It was nice to catch up though, even though the alcohol-free-ness meant I was too shy to dance LOL. Anyway, I came home with an insane number of mozzie bites even though I was wearing stockings >=[ but thankfully they have stopped itching now :D

On the 27th (Saturday) I went to Chadstone with Viv and Lisa in the morning to attend to some business *cough* hahah enough said.
That day (coincidentally) was Erika's 18th so we went to her house to eat oishii Japanese food (but mostly cheezels). Now that I think back to it, I don't remember what we did that night, but it was nice hanging out anyway :) at the end of the night I was abandoned by my parents because for some reason they have epic problems trying to find Erika's house, so she told me about her upcoming Japan trip and made me super jealous T__T

On the 30th (Tuesday) I went out with Viv and Sam to have lunch at Glenny because Sam was leaving for Japan (with Erika and stuff) on Wednesday. But Glenny got boring and we ended up heading to the city to watch "Due Date" at MC with Victor. The movie was funny, but not hilarious =P oh but I was very pleasantly surprised to see Jamie Foxx in it <3

I see Jamie Foxx in a completely different light after listening to him singing. Holy friggin crap man, this is the sexiest version of  "Brady Bunch" you will ever hear in your lifetime LOL omgosh I'm melting just listening to it now :) Oh yeah and apart from being sexy, Jamie Foxx is so amazing for being able to sing like Babyface/Luther Vandross/Prince AND to do it live. Oh my gosh, so amazing, you dont understand how much respect I have for him *swooons

Oops, I got a little distracted there, so I'll just quickly recap from then til now; went out with Nat  for a shopping/catchup/goss sesh at Chaddy on Thursday, and Fridays (last night) we had a small Christmas party with my mum's church group. There was nobody my age, but there was a little girl (1 or 2 years old) so I looked after her :) She was soo cute, but made me realise what a handful children can be haha.. anyway her name is Nevaeh (which is 'heaven' spelt backwards, and I think that's just the cutest thing ever) and she's a beautiful little islander baby with big round eyes and superlong eyelashes!

*Stops talking about babies* zz this post is too long, so I'll save the main reason for this blog (which I haven't even mentioned yet- but it's boy-related =P) for another time .. maybe. ;)

THE END.
P.s. I'm heading off the Rye on Monday with 8 other girls, and we'll be there for about week :) so exciteddd!

totally unneccesary entry

Man it's getting so hot in Melbourne now :( I miss winter already, and looking at pics of my friend holidaying in England (where it's winter) just make me super super jealous !

Okay on Monday we celebrated Lisa's bday .. I just realised I need to start tkaing more photos, but i dont like the camera on my N97mini (it's harsh, slow, and loud ) so even when I take pictures, it's mostly on other peoples' cameras! But we went to The Conservatory at Crown and ateateate til we were bursting at the seams ! The desserts were exquisite ;) and there was this berry cheesecake thing that was seriously "jizz in my pants" quality.

I didn't do anything today because the pollen count was super high and it was too hot anyway. I watched "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and just bummed around :)

Tomorrow, as much as I would like to stay at home and drink iced beverages, I have to head over to school where I am no longer a student =0 I don't think I visitors pass, but will I need one next year should I go back to visit? I wouldnt go, but hypothetically, when is it necessary for me to have a visitors pass :S

Wow, that was totally irrelevant LOL I blame the heattt! Ok here ends this post :)

P.S. I DESPERATELY NEED TO TRAVEL! But for now, I can't wait til schoolies WHEWWW!

i cant be bothered rereading this and my head hurts

Omgosh so many things to blog about because now that exams are over, so much stuff has been happening.

To quickly recap;
Wednesday
Went to school for a bit to attend to some business :) and then went to the city with Viv, Sam, Soph and Lisa to bum around and shop as non-highschoolers. Then the others finally came and we went to eat at Grill'd. From memory, I was pretty knackered by the end of the day because hayfever was really awful and my eyes were about to give up and collapse in on themselves..

Friday
Went to YiLing's house to dye her hair. I'd never dyed hair before so that was an interesting experience and I sincerely hope I didn't ruin it :(
Then on friday night we had our Valedictory, which wasn't too bad considering I was really not in the mood for a formal event haha =P

Saturday
Went to watch Harry Potter 7 (part 1) and shop around a little. The movie was pretty good, quite suspenseful, but I think you'd only appreciate it if you'd read the books.
Then had Amanda's 18th that night. She had it in my old suburb, and I drove past my primary school on the way there. It felt really sad.. It's the same feeling as when you see your ex .__. it's like it doesn't fit into your life at all anymore, but you know it's something you'll always care about. /wrist *emo haha jokes ~

But on the subject of LOOOOVEEEE. (and because I really like answering these surveys,) I'm going to answer these questions so that I can one day read this with my future husband and compare him to my currently-ideal-future-husband LOL.

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
Goodlooking in my eyes :)

2. Smart?
Yeah, I'd like his IQ to be above 120 .. over 135 would please me LOL

3. Preferred age?
'A few' years older :) that is so vague..

4. Preferred height?
Preferred height would probably be 175-180 .. but as long as he's taller than me when I wear heels then we're good (Y)

5. How about sense of humor?
Yeah, he needs to appreciate my kind of humour and not think I'm weird :(

6. How about piercings?
Ears are fine- eyebrow is .. acceptable perhaps if he looks like Puck from Glee

7. Accepts you for who you are?
No, I really want a guy who hates who I am. *heavy sarcasm*

8. Pink hair?
.. I'd really prefer not

9. Mushy or no?
Hmm, not too mushy and not in public ;)

10. Thin or fat?
Tank ! Nah um, somewhere in between? :)

11. Black, Brown, Yellow or White (skin color)?
I can sense this question causing problems in my future marriage.. so I'm going to say I'm down for them all LOL.

12. Long hair or short hair?
I generally prefer short. And if he's a guy who looks good with long hair, then just.. Please not longer than mine.

13. Plastic or metal?
Wut.

14. Smells good?
Yum cologne :)

15. Smoker?
Prefer not, because cigarettes make everything smell weird, and they're a waste of money that could be spent on our future childrens' education >=[

16. Drinker?
I can't say I wouldn't be impressed if he could hold his alcohol well. Nothing worse than a bratty kid who is allegedly "off his face" after two beers LOL.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
Boy-from-Calvin-Klein-catalogue type..

18. Muscular?
:)

19. Plays piano?
Yeah *shrugs

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
Yum :)

21. Plays violin?
On par with the guy who plays the piano =P

22. Sings very well?
Sing songs to me <3

23. Vain?
O HELLL NAWWW.

24. With glasses?
Doesn't matter so much, but I would like our children to at least have a chance of having perfect vision :(

25. With braces?
Probably would prefer him not to have braces when we're in our 20s LOL.

26. Shy type?
Hm, not too shy, but not overconfident either

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Good boy :) But it's okay if he's a rebel, as long as he's *my* rebel.

28. Active or passive?
Active, but not a stalker..

29. Tight or bomb?
Wut.

30. Singer or dancer
HM, this is so hard.. dancer? Oh but dancers can't dance you a lullaby :(

31. Stunner?
Hungry Jacks. LOL

32. Hiphop?
Uh yes?

33. Earrings?
Already answered this- earrings are chill with me.

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
Noooo :(

35. Dimples?
Cute, but I wouldn't reject a guy because of his lack of dimples ._.

36. Bookworm?
Probably not.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES. Call me a sap but I love reading letters :)

38. Playful?
I guess so?

39. Flirt?
.. I hope he's only flirting with me >=[

40. Poem writer?
Sure :)

41. Serious?
Yeah..

42. Campus crush?
Wut..

43. Painter?
Um, I don't really care.

44. Religious?
Complicated, but I guess so.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
What a pointless question >__>

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
*sigh, if he's asian then this is probably a given. =__=

47. Speaks 20 languages?
Hawttt.

48. Loyal or Faithful?
Definitelyyy

49. Good kisser?
If he's bad, we can just practise :) OH GOSH, how corny and disgusting.

50. Loves children?
Not more than I love children. Because that might be illegal..