schoolies, uni, and other stuff :)

Woah this might turn into a superduper long post, so I'll probably have to split it. See how it goes :D

SCHOOLIES!

Rye was absolutely freaking amazing. I miss being there! Thanks so much to Soph and her parents for letting us run wild in their beach house and providing food hehe <3

The weather was less than desirable for a beach trip, but we had tonnes of fun all the same. Nights playing Truth or Dare (which turned into just Truth), "I Never", and just taking shots for the heck of it- these are times I won't forget.

So beautiful (photo stolen off Soph cos I didn't bring a camera)

Me and Viv

Me and Lisa (love the colours in this one)
 

Uh, drunken artwork :)

 Group pic just before we left

Love you guys <3

** Revisiting this old post because I never finished it, & an update is now well overdue **

Thinking back to schoolies makes me feel sad and sentimental :( Only time will tell how many of my high school friends I'll keep in touch with years from now..

Uni.. I don't feel much like talking about it now because preferences have been lodged/confirmed already. First-round offers won't come out for about a month and I'm taking full advantage of that month by not thinking about it at all, because I don't have to :)

The future both scares me and excites me. I'm so curious and excited for uni life and the time where I get to settle down and start a family. It's a journey where the possibilities inspire me, but the uncertainty of where life will take me is what scares me.

Sometimes the hardest thing is knowing when to take control and when to go with the flow.

When I was in Year 9 (about 14 years old) we canoed something like 70km down the Murray river on camp over 5 days, and one night we were urged to take some time out to ponder the following statement: "Life is like a river"

If life is like a river, do you trust where it will take you if you just let go? Or are you supposed to struggle and fight the natural flow? It's so tiring trying to fight it, and lately I've been wondering about all the things I would never discover if I were persistent in not going with the flow. You could say it's directionless, but then I would say you're narrowminded for only considering one fate for your life.

But it's a retaliation and it's only because sometimes I feel like you're right. They say it's okay to take your time in finding your direction, but I worry that I won't ever find mine. When I imagine my future, it's always with a family of my own- because I know that at the end of the day, that's going to be the most important thing to me. But what about everything else? What happens between now and then?

I wish life had a pause button because time keeps moving faster, and I'm not seeing any progress. 

BIRTHDAYS AND JAMIE FOXX BEING THE SEX.

HOLY COW! I haven't posted since the 23rd which is almost 2 weeks ago! Oh man, let me think about all the crazy fun stuff I've been up to lately..

Oh wow, I've really forgotten .. But I'll do my best :)

Went to Nat's 18th on the 26th (Friday) which was pretty fun cos I hadn't seen her and a few others for sooo long. It was nice to catch up though, even though the alcohol-free-ness meant I was too shy to dance LOL. Anyway, I came home with an insane number of mozzie bites even though I was wearing stockings >=[ but thankfully they have stopped itching now :D

On the 27th (Saturday) I went to Chadstone with Viv and Lisa in the morning to attend to some business *cough* hahah enough said.
That day (coincidentally) was Erika's 18th so we went to her house to eat oishii Japanese food (but mostly cheezels). Now that I think back to it, I don't remember what we did that night, but it was nice hanging out anyway :) at the end of the night I was abandoned by my parents because for some reason they have epic problems trying to find Erika's house, so she told me about her upcoming Japan trip and made me super jealous T__T

On the 30th (Tuesday) I went out with Viv and Sam to have lunch at Glenny because Sam was leaving for Japan (with Erika and stuff) on Wednesday. But Glenny got boring and we ended up heading to the city to watch "Due Date" at MC with Victor. The movie was funny, but not hilarious =P oh but I was very pleasantly surprised to see Jamie Foxx in it <3

I see Jamie Foxx in a completely different light after listening to him singing. Holy friggin crap man, this is the sexiest version of  "Brady Bunch" you will ever hear in your lifetime LOL omgosh I'm melting just listening to it now :) Oh yeah and apart from being sexy, Jamie Foxx is so amazing for being able to sing like Babyface/Luther Vandross/Prince AND to do it live. Oh my gosh, so amazing, you dont understand how much respect I have for him *swooons

Oops, I got a little distracted there, so I'll just quickly recap from then til now; went out with Nat  for a shopping/catchup/goss sesh at Chaddy on Thursday, and Fridays (last night) we had a small Christmas party with my mum's church group. There was nobody my age, but there was a little girl (1 or 2 years old) so I looked after her :) She was soo cute, but made me realise what a handful children can be haha.. anyway her name is Nevaeh (which is 'heaven' spelt backwards, and I think that's just the cutest thing ever) and she's a beautiful little islander baby with big round eyes and superlong eyelashes!

*Stops talking about babies* zz this post is too long, so I'll save the main reason for this blog (which I haven't even mentioned yet- but it's boy-related =P) for another time .. maybe. ;)

THE END.
P.s. I'm heading off the Rye on Monday with 8 other girls, and we'll be there for about week :) so exciteddd!

totally unneccesary entry

Man it's getting so hot in Melbourne now :( I miss winter already, and looking at pics of my friend holidaying in England (where it's winter) just make me super super jealous !

Okay on Monday we celebrated Lisa's bday .. I just realised I need to start tkaing more photos, but i dont like the camera on my N97mini (it's harsh, slow, and loud ) so even when I take pictures, it's mostly on other peoples' cameras! But we went to The Conservatory at Crown and ateateate til we were bursting at the seams ! The desserts were exquisite ;) and there was this berry cheesecake thing that was seriously "jizz in my pants" quality.

I didn't do anything today because the pollen count was super high and it was too hot anyway. I watched "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and just bummed around :)

Tomorrow, as much as I would like to stay at home and drink iced beverages, I have to head over to school where I am no longer a student =0 I don't think I visitors pass, but will I need one next year should I go back to visit? I wouldnt go, but hypothetically, when is it necessary for me to have a visitors pass :S

Wow, that was totally irrelevant LOL I blame the heattt! Ok here ends this post :)

P.S. I DESPERATELY NEED TO TRAVEL! But for now, I can't wait til schoolies WHEWWW!

i cant be bothered rereading this and my head hurts

Omgosh so many things to blog about because now that exams are over, so much stuff has been happening.

To quickly recap;
Wednesday
Went to school for a bit to attend to some business :) and then went to the city with Viv, Sam, Soph and Lisa to bum around and shop as non-highschoolers. Then the others finally came and we went to eat at Grill'd. From memory, I was pretty knackered by the end of the day because hayfever was really awful and my eyes were about to give up and collapse in on themselves..

Friday
Went to YiLing's house to dye her hair. I'd never dyed hair before so that was an interesting experience and I sincerely hope I didn't ruin it :(
Then on friday night we had our Valedictory, which wasn't too bad considering I was really not in the mood for a formal event haha =P

Saturday
Went to watch Harry Potter 7 (part 1) and shop around a little. The movie was pretty good, quite suspenseful, but I think you'd only appreciate it if you'd read the books.
Then had Amanda's 18th that night. She had it in my old suburb, and I drove past my primary school on the way there. It felt really sad.. It's the same feeling as when you see your ex .__. it's like it doesn't fit into your life at all anymore, but you know it's something you'll always care about. /wrist *emo haha jokes ~

But on the subject of LOOOOVEEEE. (and because I really like answering these surveys,) I'm going to answer these questions so that I can one day read this with my future husband and compare him to my currently-ideal-future-husband LOL.

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
Goodlooking in my eyes :)

2. Smart?
Yeah, I'd like his IQ to be above 120 .. over 135 would please me LOL

3. Preferred age?
'A few' years older :) that is so vague..

4. Preferred height?
Preferred height would probably be 175-180 .. but as long as he's taller than me when I wear heels then we're good (Y)

5. How about sense of humor?
Yeah, he needs to appreciate my kind of humour and not think I'm weird :(

6. How about piercings?
Ears are fine- eyebrow is .. acceptable perhaps if he looks like Puck from Glee

7. Accepts you for who you are?
No, I really want a guy who hates who I am. *heavy sarcasm*

8. Pink hair?
.. I'd really prefer not

9. Mushy or no?
Hmm, not too mushy and not in public ;)

10. Thin or fat?
Tank ! Nah um, somewhere in between? :)

11. Black, Brown, Yellow or White (skin color)?
I can sense this question causing problems in my future marriage.. so I'm going to say I'm down for them all LOL.

12. Long hair or short hair?
I generally prefer short. And if he's a guy who looks good with long hair, then just.. Please not longer than mine.

13. Plastic or metal?
Wut.

14. Smells good?
Yum cologne :)

15. Smoker?
Prefer not, because cigarettes make everything smell weird, and they're a waste of money that could be spent on our future childrens' education >=[

16. Drinker?
I can't say I wouldn't be impressed if he could hold his alcohol well. Nothing worse than a bratty kid who is allegedly "off his face" after two beers LOL.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
Boy-from-Calvin-Klein-catalogue type..

18. Muscular?
:)

19. Plays piano?
Yeah *shrugs

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
Yum :)

21. Plays violin?
On par with the guy who plays the piano =P

22. Sings very well?
Sing songs to me <3

23. Vain?
O HELLL NAWWW.

24. With glasses?
Doesn't matter so much, but I would like our children to at least have a chance of having perfect vision :(

25. With braces?
Probably would prefer him not to have braces when we're in our 20s LOL.

26. Shy type?
Hm, not too shy, but not overconfident either

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Good boy :) But it's okay if he's a rebel, as long as he's *my* rebel.

28. Active or passive?
Active, but not a stalker..

29. Tight or bomb?
Wut.

30. Singer or dancer
HM, this is so hard.. dancer? Oh but dancers can't dance you a lullaby :(

31. Stunner?
Hungry Jacks. LOL

32. Hiphop?
Uh yes?

33. Earrings?
Already answered this- earrings are chill with me.

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
Noooo :(

35. Dimples?
Cute, but I wouldn't reject a guy because of his lack of dimples ._.

36. Bookworm?
Probably not.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES. Call me a sap but I love reading letters :)

38. Playful?
I guess so?

39. Flirt?
.. I hope he's only flirting with me >=[

40. Poem writer?
Sure :)

41. Serious?
Yeah..

42. Campus crush?
Wut..

43. Painter?
Um, I don't really care.

44. Religious?
Complicated, but I guess so.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
What a pointless question >__>

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
*sigh, if he's asian then this is probably a given. =__=

47. Speaks 20 languages?
Hawttt.

48. Loyal or Faithful?
Definitelyyy

49. Good kisser?
If he's bad, we can just practise :) OH GOSH, how corny and disgusting.

50. Loves children?
Not more than I love children. Because that might be illegal..

tasteless risotto

I can't believe all my exams are over!

I woke up at 11:30AM and decided I wanted to become pro at cooking so I started making risotto. In hindsight it was probably a very rash decision considering I hadnt bought any ingredients for it, but I just improvised without stock, cooking wine, mushrooms (compulsory to any risotto, in my eyes) and onions (I couldn't find them LOL).

I don't think it turned out too bad, but because I used water instead of stock, it wasnt very salty :( My dad said it was salty enough, but I think he was just trying to make me feel better. Then he said it was 'nice, kind of like congee' and I got upset because if I just wanted to make chicken and broccoli congee, I could have saved so much trouble >__>

Oh well, I have 3 months or so to brush up on my cooking :) Now that I think of it, 3 months really isnt that long .. it's 12 weeks, one of which I will be on schoolies, and I will be in Malaysia for another two weeks. That means I've only got 9 weeks in Melbourne this holidays and it sounds so short..

I think this is a sign that I'm getting old, because old people always complain that time goes too quickly LOL :(

Umm, so other than cooking, I watched an unhealthy amount of Glee (almost up to date now) and cleaned out some stuff in my room. I now have 2 boxes of old books, 1 box of piano music+craft, and another box of "memories". It felt really sad packing everything away, and throwing a lot of stuff out.. But I'm also glad it's all over. I don't really want to think about school anymore ~

Oh and this is probably my OCD self talking, but it feels so good to have identical boxes that stack beautifully in my closet. AHHHHHH!! Life is gooood right now :) I sort of want to chill at home for a few days, but this week is going to be really busy.

I guess by the weekend, I will have heaps of stuff to blog about. But right now I will just call it a day and hit the hay (:

GOODNIGHT!

gleeeee !

Officially addicted to Glee. I am officially a Gleek.

I started watching it today, and I'm halfway through episode 10 at the moment. I wanted to blog about it because I'm feeling this unhealthy attachment to the characters at this point LOL. I know it's fictional, but I really can't stand seeing Finn messing around with Rachel, even if they don't "do anything".

So this is how I see it at the moment:
Quinn is dating Finn, but she's pregnant with Finn's best friend, Puck's baby. She apparently got drunk one night and they slept together, because she "felt fat that day". Finn somehow believes that he got her pregnant even though they've never slept together because he .. sort of jizzed in the spa when they were making out LOL. Uh, so Puck knows he's the father because he's the only guy Quinn has slept with, and when he finds out about her pregnancy, he expects that he's going to be the one looking after her and their baby (aww). Puck genuinely likes Quinn, but she doesn't think he can support them financially/be a good dad. So she won't tell anyone who the real father is, and she really wants to hold onto Finn even though obviously there's some chemistry between Finn and Rachel.

Okay so you're probably wondering why I'm so worked up about Finn doing the "cheating", when Quinn is the one who had sex with her boyfriend's best friend.

But I don't see it like that. I see Quinn as someone who made one mistake, and she was just unlucky that her one mistake become something bigger and how she has a baby on the way. On top of that, her boyfriend is an immature, irresponsible, cheating little loser who doesn't really seem to care about her or the baby. Let's not forget that he thinks this is his baby- and yet he complains that hes too busy/tired to get a job? Um hello, what about his tired girlfriend carrying another person inside of her?

And I think Quinn is too in love with Finn to leave him even though he keeps getting uncomfortably close/flirty with Rachel who is soo into him. It really shits me that these people can't just make decisions.

I like Puck because he's made a decision to do what he can for Quinn and the baby, even if she won't acknowledge that it's his. He would do anything to make a life for his family, even if it means breaking the rules, and he keeps trying to show her that, by earning money to give to Quinn. I like Quinn because she made a decision to stay with Finn, even though he's not helping her with the baby. I really think she should just elope with Puck because he's the one who really cares about her, but at least she's made her decision (as far as I can tell), and she's sticking with it.

But people like Finn need to grow a pair and decide what they want. If he wants Rachel's "nice ass" then maybe he should just break up with Quinn and stop being such a douchebag. And if he really loves Quinn, then he should start becoming a man and think about how to provide for his girl instead of flirting with ugly, annoying girls with huge noses. The thing that I hate the most about Rachel is that she still wants Finn so badly even though he has a pregnant girlfriend. That is just sooo out of line. I mean as if her self-centredness isnt enough, but she has to be a homewrecker too?

And speaking of home-wreckers. Why is Emma so damn desperate? I don't understand how you can look at a married man with a baby on the way, and still try and take him away from his family. Okay maybe I don't understand because I've never met my "soulmate". Maybe it's normal to be completely selfish when you find someone and you know that they are 'the one' for you.

But in my ignorance, all I see is a bunch of selfish pricks who don't care about other people's families. And it makes me sick. What if you were a loving and devoted wife and mother who made a decision to do dedicate your life to your family. And then one day your husband decides to leave you for this bimbotic girl at work who has been eyeing him for ages.

It all just makes me so upset and angry. I actually feel like crying sometimes because I don't understand why some couples can be so screwed up.

You know, it sounds really stupid, but I recently I've started to wish that I would find a guy who I loved more than he loved me. I know a lot of people want the security of finding someone who loves them more, and I thought I wanted that too, but after seeing so many failed relationships, I thought I needed something different. I'm not saying I want someone who will hurt me, but I do want someone who could hurt me bad if they wanted to. Oh geez, I realise I'm beginning to sound like a sadist now... but I really think that devotion is more important than power in a relationship.

For my husband, I will make his sandwiches and iron his clothes, I'll bake him cookies and even give up custard if he's allergic (I love custard. LOVE). I will cut the crusts off his bread if he likes that, and still love him if he's a geek with no friends. And if he's a magpie enthusiast ... ok no, sorry I will not have a pet magpie because they are disgusting and scary..

Ok the point is that I was becoming comfortable with the idea of trusting someone so much that you can love them unconditionally*. I remember some really old-school quote, "Loving someone is giving them the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to". But watching all this makes me hope I don't even have to love someone so much that I can't leave them when I know they're only hurting me. It's almost torturous to watch because it hurts :( Maaaan, I am getting way too into this. I know these people are idiots, but I can't stop watching.

But I guess what gets to me is not so much the dumb characters, it just makes me realise how many crappy people are out there. I'm going to end this blog abruptly now because I'm too annoyed to think anymore, and I have more Glee to watch >__>

*I don't even know if people are capable of unconditional love.. but Tupac says they are, so that's a good sign LOL :D

what a boring post :(

OMG hayfever is seriously killing me right now! My eyes feel so irritated they want to pop out of my face :(

Today I had my chem exam in the morning- I was soo insanely stoned because it was a morning exam and it was the first time I'd had to wake up before 7AM in like a month LOL.

I don't think I did great in the exam, but it wasn't too bad either. Right now it's difficult to tell how well I did because all I can think about is how I am to freedommmmm!! Oh and my ridiculously itchy eye >__>

In 4 days I will have all the time in the world to do anything I want- it's a nice thought, but it's a little daunting. I've spoken to people who have finished exams already, and they say theyre bored because there's so much time and nothing to do. I guess it's because most people are still studying for exams, and there will be a lot more to do in a week from now :)

But after the Chem exam, we had Japanese class which I was anticipating to be really intense. But we didn't really do very much and my brain wasn't too stressed out after :)

Soph, Viv x2, Steph and I then went to the Gallery to check out some art! I have some photos of Steph's paintings and they are absolutely amazing. Like seriously, you could probably sell them for hundred of dollars (but don't quote me because I swear one day they'll go for thousands!). Eurgh I want to show you, but I have a feeling I'm not allowed to post those on here. Something to do with VCAA owning the rights to it?

AANYWAY RAAAAWRRR, I need to have a shower now :)
ps. sorryyy boring post, I'm just soo bland today :(

the luckiest day of my life thus far.

Today was a good day!

I woke up this morning feeling anxious. I then contemplated how big my asshole would be by the end of the day, after being anal raped by my physics exam (.. uh, too graphic?).

I planned to get to school at about 10, and do a practice exam just to get my mind warmed up. So off I went, to take the bus to school! This is when I began to feel the universe smiling joyously at me because while walking to the bus stop I could not help but notice the blatant absence of magpies in my neighbourhood.

Now if you dont already know, I'm utterly terrified of magpies. I've heard too many stories of eyes being gouged out though I have never been attacked before, and I take severe measures to keep it that way LOL. (I might write a separate blog entry about this later if I get bored enough)

Anyway, at this point it seemed the world was finally repaying me for my contributions ! Then as I walked from the bus stop to my school, another wonderful thing happened.

A BIRD CRAPPED IN FRONT OF ME!

I did not see the bird, but a little "plop" of birdpoo appeared not more than 20cm in front of me. Now when I was telling Vivian about this, she said that you're only lucky if it craps ON you. But I certainly would not feel very lucky if this bird had taken a dump on my head. So I don't mean to brag or anything- but almost being crapped on by a bird is like the luckiest of all luckies!

AND THEN. Now you're just going to think I'm lying, but also while walking to school, I saw a butterfly! Now this is pretty rare for me and it's probably the first butterfly I've seen all year. WOW! Now all I need is that field of daisies, and my dream can finally come true :D (refer to blogpost a few days ago)

Then I had my physics exam! Which wasn't as fantastic as the magpies, birdpoo and butterflies, but thankfully my asshole is still intact!

But it's definitely a weird feeling wondering if this is the end of my relationship with Newton. :(

No more forces, friction or electromagnetic induction. No more amperes, newtons, teslas, webers or ohms.
And best of all, no more staying up til 2AM finishing a cheatsheet that I left til the last minute! LOL jokes, I never did that anyway because I hate cheatsheets .__.

*sigh.. But I feel somewhat sad, even though Physics and I hardly spent any time together throughout the year. But at the end of the day (semester), we could spend hours trying to make it work, and it was still my baby <3

"Every couple have their moment- but if they torque, they can resolve their differences."

Ok, let's cut the sentimental stuff, because you probably don't care about my relationship with Physics and this is probably awkward fo you. Like watching two ugly people PDA ... *shudders

UMM, but regarding the Physics exam. It was quite long, relatively hard, but still do-able. Long, hard and do-able is generally a good thing, so I won't read too much into that. But the important thing is that I didn't get raped :)

After the exam, Vivian and I went out for lunch so we could discuss it. Yummy, we had Korean food <3 Oh and we had a nice interesting chat about a few other things including stingy asians and naive people, but this post is going to be too long if I write about it now =P

Oh my, what a splendid day! And now I'm back home but I really don't feel like studying for chemistry which is tomorrow :( I'm soo not ready for it.. better wear two layers of thick pants, and a belt .. If you don't get that, then you're not supposed to :D

GOODBYE PHYSICS! I WILL MISS YOUUU :(

I can't believe this is the end,
And it is now too late to mend,
Any mistakes I may have penned,
In the time together we did spend,
Oftentimes you, I do not comprehend
But to see you soon I do intend,
Our relationship, I wish to extend,
Dear Physics, my beloved friend.

photos and stranger danger!

Ahhh, I was looking at pictures from CLC which was about 1.5 years ago, and I think I still look more or less the same...

Um I lolled at the following picture because of the poser-ness of this photo .. soooo teenybopper.  Do I still pose like that? Please tell me I don't :(

Anyway this was "then", 1.5 years ago (I'm the one on the left in case somehow you can't tell LOL)

 

And this is now. Well actually I think it was sometime earlier this year- I think I just discovered that I don't have many photos from this year :(

Um, I so I'll list the differences

1. My hair got longer :D

2. Less TB

3. I now wear more makeup ( T__T )

4. Eyes look different (probably because of #3, or because I'm not like O_O in the 2nd picture)

4. I got fatter ( T__T )

5. I have no friends (as indicated by the lonely webcam photo)

*INTERRUPTION*

HOLY SH*T. SOMEONE JUST RANG THE DOORBELL AND I FULLY FREAKED OUT BECAUSE

1. MUMMY SAYS NEVER OPEN THE DOOR TO STRANGERS

2. I'm wearing boxers with the australian flag on them (I promise I'm not a bogan)

3. I'm just not ... adequately clothed to answer the door

4. I sort of look like a slob right now

You know in Charlie's Angels when Cameron Diaz opens the door in her PJs/underwear? Yeah sorry, but NOBODY looks that damn fine in the morning, okay? I bet even Cameron Diaz doesn't look like that in real life when she wakes up.

OMGOSH they rang the doorbell like 3 times, I'm so scared O__O and I can hear noises .. like a ladder. Maybe they're here to fix something.. BUT WHY DO THEY NEED ME TO ANSWER THE DOOR. JUST DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO AND LEAVE ME ALONE *hides in the kitchen*

Oh, well that's great. My power just cut out. What the hell, we pay our bills :( We're not like some cheap asian .. ok the power is back ._. (I'm on my laptop btw, that's why the power cutting out isn't a big deal)

Now I'm still too scared to walk past the door in case some scary man is still waiting there. Waiting to watch me feel uncomfortable standing in the doorway in inadequate clothing T__T

But yes- that is another thing about me.. I hate answering the door to strangers. It's always so awkward because I don't want whatever they're trying to sell to me. Actually it's more to do with the fact that if I'm home alone, I'm just a slob and ... I will just stop there before I make myself out to be some disgusting ball of slime :)

And I also hate it when people I know come over unannounced. I mean I'm all for hanging out and stuff, but do you think it would kill you to let me know you're coming over first? Geez, like maybe I was planning on waxing my legs, and then you decide to show up halfway, and I awkwardly have one hairy leg and residual wax still on one leg. Yeah, I bet you didn't think of that. Gosh. (Yeah .. attractive, I know)

So no, I don't like it when you "surprise" me by showing up at my door randomly at ridiculous hours (very early in the morning, or very late at night). I appreciate the thought, but you won't appreciate my fat, un-made-up face with a big frown on it because you decided to invade my personal space (my house).

Maybe this is why I don't have any friends LOL hahaha.. Nah but in all honesty, showing up and waiting outside someone's house is reminiscent of stalkers and fights with boyfriends (or stalkerish boyfriends). I think that's why I don't like it.

Storytime: I remember a friend who we will call Sue, whose boyfriend (actually it depends on whose side of the story you believe), but according to Sue, she and the boyfriend were "taking a break". During this time, he still waited outside her house to see what time she was came home, when she left the house again and who she was with . Okay fair enough, he's a reaaally nice guy and he only did it because he suspected her of cheating on him, but who can blame her when her current "boyfriend" stalks her like that?

Ah nooo that's a horrible thing to say because I think there's no excuse for cheating anyway, but that's not the point.

The point is that sitting outside someone elses house is an invasion of privacy and is just plain creepy.

happyyy!

WOAH. What a lovely day :)
I think this is the first day during this exam period that I feel really happy. Usually I would look outside at the beautiful spring weather and wallow in self pity that I'm unable to frolick through fields of sunflowers and daisies, chasing butterflies... *dramatic music*

So instead of that ^ ..I'm inside the house. Not studying; and feeling very guilty for not studying too. :(

Btw I think I prefer fields of daisies, because the sunflowers are a bit ugly and dry. It sort of looks like I'm streaking through the flowers, but I promise that's only because I'm too technologically inept to draw clothes on :)

Anyway, it might be a bit late now that half of my exams are over, to be deciding to pull up my socks and work hard. But better late than never, right?

Oh and yesterday I said that today I wouldn't use the internet, but I think this is an exception to that hehe.. Exactly ONE WEEK until freedom <3
.. and then my blog entries can be about you know, actual stuff I do, and it will sound like I have a life! ;)

UPDATE://

Check out the difference in size of these eggs LOL.

I think the small ones are from a farmers market or something like that... I don't actually know, but my dad brought them home one day and he likes to go to markets, so I just assume that's where it's from.

Or maybe it's someones pet chicken's egg, except we have a whole dozen of them, so I somewhat doubt someone collected 12eggs to give to us in a nice carton. Btw the big egg is a regular "large" egg you get from the supermarket, like it's not a giant turkey egg or something :)

I don't want to eat the small eggs, because it seems cruel... I know they were both potential baby chickens, but I still feel like the smaller one is the babier chicken :(

PS. I'm cooking the big one now :)

Oh but how do I like my eggs, you ask? Poached with noodles, in an omelette, or hardboiled :) None of this runny/squishy eggwhite for me!

ticked off

Geez, so you know how my URL is azukiflower? Yeahyeah it's an amazing choice and yes I am aware that azuki are red beans and don't have flowers (or none that I've seen, and even if they did have flowers, they would probably look weird and spikey).

But I wanted to be just azuki because it's a cool word okay and redbeans are cool. Except for those ones you get for free at Chinese restaurants that don't even taste like redbean. They taste like orange peels and I can only assume that this is from the leftover orange peels of the free fruit they also serve. Or even worse, when people don't finish their oranges and the waiters collect them back at the end of the night. Eww..

But fortunately that rarely happens because Chinese people are too stingy to leave the restaurant without eating all the food first, even if it's just complementary fruit. Speaking of which, my brother's theory with the "free soup" they serve before a meal; he reckons it's the bones they collect when people are done with their meat. But I think he's wrong because that has to be illegal, or he's at least lying to me... anyway I think the whole free crappyfood is stupid. Feeding your customers leftovers in a pathetic attempt to seem like you're giving them "complementary sides" is just really cheap.

But onto the main point of this post; I decided to look up the evil person who stole my URL, azuki.blogspot. DON'T LOOK AT HER SITE NOW, OKAY? SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION.

I wouldn't care if she had a lovely flourishing blog and was doing the name 'azuki' justice, but she hasn't posted since 2002. Excuse me lady, but if you haven't used your blog for 8 and half years- or alternatively, since I was 9 years old- why is it still up? Don't you know that your URL is something original and simple, and your refusal to delete it and make way for the new generation of awesome (that's me), causes people to resort to stupid URLs like sxc-azuki-ninja69, or like azukibubblepop1285?

Whatever trevor. Flowers (even weird, spikey ones) are prettier than normal redbeans anyway :)

And on a completely unrelated not (just in case anybody was interested); I'm going to miss physics next year :(

how i met your father (part 1) cont.

HAHAHAHAHA.

After dinner, I saw my phone with a missed call and message. Of course both from David. That made me feel irritated (for no good reason), so I ignored it and went online. Then guess who is on msn?

D: Hey, you there?
T: Yeah
D: What happened? I've been worried. I tried to call you
T: Oh my phone is in my room, but I'm fine [shhh I know, I lied, but it's awkward when someone confronts you for ignoring them]
D: So what's wrong?
T: nvm
D: hmmm, are you angry with me?
T: No.
*pause* [this is where I decided to stop being a b*tch]
T: well yes, but I shouldn't be. So it's okay
D: =_= then would it help if I apologised?
*pause* [LOL]
D: Because I'm sorry, even though I don't fully know what I did =_=
T: (: *hugs
D: .. I'm soo confused >.< *sigh.. you know I love you yeah?
T: Yesss, I love you too ~

Aww, this is why you're my best friend :) but I still think it's funny that he apologised at the correct moment. Any earlier would have irritated me more, any later would have been too late.

And no, we're not "together" LOL. He's been like a big brother ever since I was 12 (and he was the "mature and wise" 16yr old *cough). Sorry for being a horrid little pain in the butt over the years, love you lots xx.

In other news, life is so boring right now :( not much to blog about except this stupid nonsense hehe. But I think talking to the Dutch guy (his name is Marc) makes me realise I need to get out moreee LOL. AFTER EXAMS!! Oh sweet freedom, you taste so divine. How I yearn for you always, I must make you mine. I am so romantic haha :D

Mmm I actually like the name Marc, if I wasn't Asian, I would name my song Marc. Or maybe if I marry a Philipino guy *coughcough, I still could.. Or a Dutch guy. I've never met a Dutch person in real life I think o__o

OKAAAY
*senseless ranting ends here*

how i met your father (part 1)

Booo, I need to learn how to make categories on this thing! I guess I will figure it out after exams or something. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the future lately.. maybe because I've been reading too much oldschool xx and watching too much 'How I Met Your Mother' hahah xD

Anyway this is the first part of "How I Met Your Father" LOL I'm so creative. But really, this is a document of all the assholes* I encounter before I meet the love of my life/father of my children :D

*Disclaimer: I'm only joking about you all being assholes, so if someone who I have mentioned happens to stumble across this one day, please don't take legal action. Remember there was a time where either I liked you or you liked me ! :D

Last night
It was quickly approaching 12:00AM and I wanted so badly to fall asleep, but lately I've developed a habit of staying up til 4:00AM :(
Actually no, as much as I would like to blame it on bad sleeping habits, I knew it wasn't that. It's that damn nagging feeling when there's so much useless stuff on your mind, and you just feel restless. It's soo annoying !
So I lay in bed staying at my phone, wondering who I should call if I felt like giving someone a huge dose of E-M-O. I finally replied to an sms from David, who I had been avoiding for about a week because he was being a stupid loser. And I even ended the message with "...are you still awake?" in a pathetic attempt to hint for him to call.
Since I couldn't blog, I wrote a "note" on my phone because I'm weird like that, but it only made me feel guilty about my ex, who we will call Joey:

**you don't need to read this part , because it's not so important, but whatever, I'll post it anwyay*

"I'd forgotten what it felt like to feel this way. The whole time, I never understood why you needed me to need you... because I had forgotten what it was like to be really vulnerable.

You always thought that it was because I didn't want to need you, and I'm sorry I didn't realise that earlier. I wasn't prepared to sacrifice, as I saw it, my independence for your ego, because I only ever saw it as you wanting me to be weak, and that's something I've never wanted for myself. But I don't regret anything that's happened, and while I believe in second chances, if I had another chance, I know I couldn't take it. Because even if I understand everything at this moment, I know myself well enough to know that I'll forget again, and it ultimately wouldn't chance anything. I wish you the best, and even if you never know that, it's okay because one day we will be strangers and my feelings will mean nothing to you.. *fast fwd* ..we're worlds apart in so many ways. I'm not one for 'collecting experiences' from relationships so casually, and if I could, I would like to experience that journey with only the one I spend the rest of my life with. I know that's something you never really understood, so I'm sorry if I hurt you in my being too careful."

Woahh so emo now that I look back on it =__=
I seriously thought about sending this to Joey, because somehow I still feel like I owe him an explanation. Ahh well it's not like the relationship ended badly... I think we both saw it coming. But the end came not as a piece of glass shattering (that's another story), but more like... when you decide that old dress just isn't 'you' anymore, and you give it away. You have a lot of memories with the dress, but you just can't see yourself wearing it in the future- you don't need it, so it might as well make someone else happy :)
Anyway, what bothers me is how calmly it ended ... it makes me feel like some things are still unresolved? In fact, we did get into an argument after we broke up, but there was no point fighting, since the relationship was already over. So we decided to "leave it as it is". And don't get me wrong, when I say "unresolved", I'm not talking about missing each other- I don't miss Joey, and I'm sure he doesn't miss me, but it still bugs me sometimes ... kind of like blue balls except with your heart/brain LOL hahaha such an inappropriate analogy ^^"
Anyway, I'm not bitter, and it worries me to wonder if Joey is, because he made it pretty clear that if I walked away, we wouldn't be friends anymore. But I console myself in thinking that he will forget me if he hasn't already, and then he won't be able to hate me hehe =]

What the heck, I don't even know why I care o__o I should just go talk to my new Dutch friend from Omegle LOL. And he's much taller too !

But in all seriousness, back to the person I finally replied too, David. So David didn't reply, but he's really slow sometimes with catching on, so I thought I'd give him another hint. Another message "hm, if you're there, i need to talk to you." should do it ~

.. no it didn't. Stupid retard didn't reply til 6:30 this morning saying he was sleeping last night and he would call me after work today. I know I'm being irrational, but stop judging me, because you don't understand our relationship dynamic. I'm allowed to be irrational and mean, okay? >__> Okay so I felt annoyed and I didn't feel like talking to him anyway, so I replied saying "dw, I'm good now." and NOW he wants to know what's wrong? HMM so maybe I didn't realise how irrational I sound until I type it all out, but I still don't want to talk to him, so there. And now I don't want to reply to his message again.

AHhhh when did I become so high maintainence? =__='

You know, I think one day I will read these posts and cringe at my stupidity, but right now I don't really care, so there :) In fact, I will just post this before I chicken out hehe

halfway through exams now

TERRIBLE. Today has just been a horrible day, starting from early in the morning before I went to bed. It was maybe 12:30AM when *checks chatlogs* ok so i lied, it was 11:30PM .. but that's not the point T__T

Ok so 11:30PM, everyone in my house was asleep except me because I wasn't tired, and even if I was, if i have a late exam the next day I don't like to wake up early because then I'll be anxious before my exam :(
So my plan was to sleep late, wake up late, and go to my exam and pwn it.

But instead this happened
11:15 - stupid fly keeps bumping into walls and making buzzing sounds near me (cos I had a light on)
11:20 - fly hunt begins. It landed on the pole of a lampstand, so i tried to whack it with a book, but it flew away and I just made a loud noise T__T" lost the fly
11:25 - catch sight of the fat, hairy target. Whack several walls with book. Lose fly again.
11:30 - fly lands on the outside of my mug. SMACKK. Fly is decapitated, with its head stuck on my mug, and its body on the table. Legs twitching.
11:31 - completely traumatised
11:32 - tells Vivian and Sam on msn about it
11:35 - uses like 10 tissues to dispose of the fly.

OH MY GOODNESS. It was the most horrific thing ever. I know it was only a fly, and I've killed flies before ... but it's never been so graphic :( And even though I never actually touched the fly with my hand, I still felt so dirty and had to wash my hands with soap.

After that, I migrated to my room and stayed up til maybe 3AM when my laptop ran out of battery.

Then this morning I woke up at 10:15 but I couldn't get out of bed. It was so weird, like my body just wouldnt move >__< zzz, managed to pry myself out of bed by 11:00, ate breakfast, bummed around the house, and got ready. Whilst I was getting ready, I thought it a fantastic idea to try a new pair of grey contacts; I've never had grey eyes before and I thought that maybe a change might bring me a fresh burst of inspiration in the exam (don't give me that look ! It makes sense in my head) But after I put the them both in, the left eye felt a bit weird, so I took it out and gave it a rinse and rubbed it between my fingers. Clearly I was too rough because I broke it :( And obviously I had to open another grey contact for my left eye since I had one grey contact lens in already. BAHH, what a waste! I like this colour even though I don't really think it's "grey" as such .. more like an ash-brown colour? I'll post a picture (please don't stalk my school. Then again it doesn't matter because 2 weeks from now I would have graduated anyway) 

Well I like this better than fully-grey anyway, so no complaints there :) but why does the picture take up so much space? >__>

Then I went to take the bus to school for the exam. Hm, while I was waiting at the bus stop, 3 P-plated cars full of De La's drove by, whooo-ing and yeaaah-ing o__o I was terrified that they would egg me or something until I realised it wasn't muck up week anymore LOL.. then finally the bus arrived and I was off to school !

This is where it it gets really depressing. *cue the violins* Ok there's not much to say here except "I'm glad I only need 30 for Lit to get into any of my courses" >__> The "Emma" passages had no narration apart from like "Emma said..", sighh so it was next to impossible to discuss the Austen/Emma shared narration which I'm used to :( BOOO and Keats was okay; I'd written on those particular poems a fair bit and I liked them- too bad I never reread my work LOL ok if i failed Keats, it was my own fault. I STILL LOVE YOU, JOHN D:

So then after the exam I felt a bit crap, and I thought I'd cheer myself up with an apple scroll (I'm a fatty, I know) BUT NOOOO. Because my exam was so late, the bakery was closed. RAWRRRR. I wasn't actually hungry, but it angered me that the bakery was closed, and when I get angry I eat HAHAH. I think it's my personal way of avenging the misfortunes the world has placed upon me... It doesnt make sense, but that's okay because I get to eat LOL.

ANYWAY, so I went to the station (I won't say which station, in case someone stalks me because I know my blog is SOOO POPULAR HAHA) and saw that it was 15minutes til the next train, which means I had JUST missed one (because it was around peak hour). Whateverrr, so I found that there was a new vending machine! Unfortunately the smallest change I had was a $10 note and the machine doesn't give change in notes. So I bought twisties and got shotty change >__> OH NOT ONLY THAT LOL. The twisties expired today. AWESOME!

Then there was a train announcement saying that my train was going to be delayed by 7 minutes. UM, so i waited 22minutes for a train in peak hour. And when I got on the train, obviously it was packed >__>

Well it's only 6:46PM now, so the day can still get better- plus, I think I should take tonight off to watch Beauty and the Geek and mourn over my chances of getting anything decent in Lit.

I want to end this blog on a happy note though, since I complained so much before.
So yeah ... um, I love my dog.

blogspot noob

EEEEP! So I am a huge blogspot noob because I spent ages trying to find the button that allows me to start a new blog before seeing it clearly in the top right hand corner >__>

It's 1:43AM right now and I should be sleeping because I have an exam tomorrow. But instead, I've been wasting time reading XX's blog and chatting on msn hahah there isn't much more to talk about right now, except that the only thing I'm excited about is finishing exams in a week and a half and being on long summer holidays!! AAAHHH BRING ON SCHOOLIES, BABYYY !

Ok well that's a lie, since I have nothing better to do, I will write a list of the things I'm currently excited about:

1. Tomorrow's Literature exam being over
2. Beauty and the Geek Episode comes out tomorrow (sad I know, but I blame exams for my utter lack of substance in my addiction to trashy reality TV shows)

3. The rest of my exams being over (thus alleviating my youtube and facebook bans)

4. Being a complete bum for a few days following the completion of my exams (just because I can)

5. Schoolies with the best people in the world! Love you guys lots and lots, even though none of you currently know i'm blogging ;)

6. Hopefully going to a special concert/performance with Sophie LOL!
7. Having an awesome birthday (not yet decided what to do though .__. havent even decided whether to have something big or small)
8. Going to Malaysia (for the first time in like 3years!) for CNY <3

Even in the midst of exams, life is good ! I'm unnaturally happy at the moment for no reason other than the fact that I'm really thankful for the people in my life !



To those who have caught me whenever I fell, I'm really thankful, and although this picture coincidentally was about trust, I only put it in because I think Cyanide and Happiness are the most hilarious things ever LOL.

*moment ruined* 

FIRST POST !

HELLO :)
I can't believe I'm writing a blog now- the last time I did this was in the Xanga days (I think I was about 14?) but then Facebook became huge, and Xanga became boring hehe.


It only just occured to me today how different Facebook is to Xanga/Myspace. From my experience, the main purpose of Xanga and Myspace was blogging, and it used to be good fun reading about peoples' days, or cheering them up when they posted something depressing/deep and meaningful <3


Xanga and Myspace (albeit somewhat less than Xanga) were about sharing select parts of yourself and your life with other people. But Facebook really isn't like that at all-
if Xanga is like baking a batch of cookies and sharing them with your neighbours, Facebook is like letting them run wild in your kitchen.
(LOL trust me to come up with a food analogy) Dont get me wrong though, I like Facebook and I probably use it more than I should, but it was just a random thought I had today when mulling over why I need to blog when I already have Facebook o_o


In my mind, it goes like this:
Your Xanga is about you, and the things that you explicitly show to your audience (through your writing), and the reader only gets what you give them.


But with Facebook nobody really writes blogs, and probably more importantly, nobody reads them. So what does the "audience" gain from your profile?
They can look at your profile pictures, your albums, and the photos that other people tag you in.
They can see the applications you use, the games you play, your embarrassing quiz results (don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about) and what your friends post on your wall.


.. I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this now; I just think that whilst there isn't a real purpose for posting 100 embarrassing photos from last night's party, you do it anyway on Facebook. But you'd probably only post 5 in a blog on Xanga, and any dodgey-looking photos usually come with an explanation LOL
SO THE POINT IS, you're generally less conscious about what you put on FB and that's why it's more dangerous than Xanga :)


PS. .. but I'm probably just bitter atm because I'm currently on a Facebook ban til after exams LOL.